A student's thoughts

House for Rent

2009-07-01T22:43:00.002-04:00

Check out this awesome deal I found online! I usually let these opportunities pass me by but I decided to take the initiative this time and reply to the email I was sent. Below are the email I received and the reply I sent...

from John Hills
to mark.eldeiry@gmail.com
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 7:55 PM
subject Howard Beach House for Rent
mailed-by yahoo.com
signed-by yahoo.com

hide details 7:55 PM (2 hours ago)

Reply

Follow up message
Hello,

Thanks for the Inquiry. I'm John Hills, Me and my wife own the house , but we are currently out of the states. We are leasing/renting out the house due to my transfer that makes me and my Husband to leave the house and also want to give it out for rent and looking for a responsible person that can take a very good care of it as we are not after the money for the rent but want it to be clean all the time and the possible tenant will see the house as his or her own. We are going to be gone for 3/4 years or more.

We left the States and we are currently in Nigeria for our missionary call. Before our leaving, we look for a reputable agent that will take a very good care of the house while we are away but could not found any so we left with the house keys and document when leaving. If you will be the right tenant to our house, we will get the keys and documents of the house sent to you via courier services as soon as all terms are settled.

I will be online through out to get back to you as soon as you are able to get back to me. I would want to know how soon you would want to move in as I will be taking 3 month upfront payment for the house including all the utilities there. We are asking for 3 Months Upfront Payment from any one interested in the house because there are lots of viewers that are averagely not financially capable of paying the rent and this is becoming rapamt this day to we landlords.I have taken a drastic measure to get a genuine viewer who is capable to pay the rent by accepting 3 Months Upfront Payment.The House is buyable in the future if you are Interested in buying it

I am looking forward to hear from you ASAP so that i can forward you an application to fill out and discuss on how to get the house for rent over to me so that I can get the keys and papers sent to you via fedex or Ups, also are you ready to rent it now or when? Await your reply. I will be willing to send the inside view of the building if you demand for it. The good Lord has been good to us. I could let you remain in the house till I come back if you are a good tenant.

Monthly Payment :- $1,500
Deposit:- (3 Months Upfront Payment)
Pets Allowed:- Yes
Smokers Allowed

Thanks,

Awaiting your Fast Response.

from Mark El-Deiry
to John Hills
date Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 10:37 PM
subject Re: Howard Beach House for Rent
mailed-by gmail.com

hide details 10:37 PM (9 minutes ago)

Reply

Follow up message
WOW!

Gosh, what a fantastic deal! I can't believe my good fortune! In fact, I'm so amazed by this deal that I'd like to send you $15,000 CASH immediately to make sure I get the place! Please give me an untraceable PO Box where I can send the money. Better yet, give me detailed directions to an empty field and I can leave the money there in a paper sack in unmarked singles!

What a generous and wonderful man you are! I will thank God tonight that I found such a benevolent and honest person to rent from! I will sing your praises and shout it from the rooftops every night! Surely, my first born son will be named John Hills Nigeria Eldeiry!! Oh the joy!

To complete the deal, please reply to this email with your social security number, date of birth, mother's maiden name, phone number, address, blood type, and bank routing number and account number. Naturally, I need this information to draw up the paperwork for your arrest - uh, I mean to complete the paperwork necessary for the lease.

OH HAPPY HAPPY DAY!

Regards,
Walter Cronkite!

PS - I am forwarding your email and all other details to my friends at the FBI and Interpol. Thank you again for your time; doubtlessly you will have plenty of it to spare very soon.

All of you, please be sure to let johnjjohnhills@yahoo.com how much you admire his kindness and beneficence. As a thank you, please feel free to submit his email address to several wonderful websites that he will doubtlessly enjoy!

"Gambling made legal on Wall Street! News at 11, apocolyptic economic meltdown at 10!"

2008-10-26T22:23:00.002-04:00

I AM SHOCKED AT THIS!! And as for Obama's repeated quote, "This economic crisis is due to 8 years of failed economic policies by George Bush and Supported by John McCain."... watch at 6:50 into the clip where you get to see who was President when gambling was legalized on Wall Street.

Watch CBS Videos Online

Flat out gambling with the retirement plans of millions of people all over the world. HOW could this have been allowed? What other disasters did Clinton leave in his wake that people are unaware of?? Now, I always thought Clinton was a great President and things did LOOK good while he was President but... what else is out there that most people don't know about?

60 Minutes explaining how risky "derivatives" are.... back in 1995!!

2008-10-23T02:26:00.002-04:00

If you look at the dry-erase board early in the clip, you'll see that one of the things listed there is "MBS"... or Mortgage Backed Securities. I guess they were fine back when no one was making bad mortgage loans. Then they were combined with sub-prime mortgages and caused the entire global economy to crumble.

Watch CBS Videos Online

60 Minutes has been reporting about economic problems for YEARS.

2008-10-22T23:21:00.003-04:00

Check out this clip from youtube... the more clips I see about the multiple economic problems we have now, the more frightened I am about the future. If you want to eat, start learning how to farm, fish, and hunt NOW.

It's Time for some campaignin'!

2008-10-20T19:48:00.001-04:00

http://sendables.jibjab.com/sendables/1191/time_for_some_campaignin#/teaser/1191

The great jibjab clip about this election... funny stuff.

Budget Hero Game

2008-10-20T17:14:00.004-04:00

Click on this link to play budget hero where YOU get to control the Federal Budget and see how it compares to what the politicians "say" they want to do...

http://budgethero.publicradio.org/widget/widget.php?refid=apm

Election 2008 - Federal Budget Simulator

2008-10-20T16:39:00.003-04:00

Check out this program I found. It is a really interesting simulator where YOU get to control the federal budget. You can see it's affect on the next 10 years and project how long your budget decisions can be sustained before the budget breaks. And, finally, you can choose the 3 most important goals of your "administration" to see how your decisions work to fulfill those goals.

It's very interesting and educational. In my own simulation, I found that if you eliminate special interest policies on BOTH sides of the aisle and just focus on what is best for the economy, national security, and health, then you can generate a budget surplus which would go even further towards strengthening the economy, national security, and health... it would become a positive feedback cycle rather than the negative, destructive cycle we have now.

Try it out and let me know what you think of it.

Election 2008 Analysis

2008-10-11T03:32:00.006-04:00

Ok folks, this one is insanely long... but it's a vitally important issue so hopefully it will be worth it.

I've been discussing the upcoming Presidential Election with my brother Mike and there is just so much going on, I felt I should share it. Hopefully, it's worth something.

Actually, the health care plan is one major reason I am against Obama. I thought about it and realized they are both going to do pretty much the same thing in office - either because they said the same thing (but try to emphasize it differently so it sounds better to the voters on their side) or because they will never do some of the things they say.

Iraq - Obama can blow smoke all he wants but no moron would pull troops out of there if there is still instability. BOTH candidates will end up taking the troops out when the generals on the ground there say enough already, we're done, let's get out. Do it even a day before that and you run the risk of having the next terrorist attack blamed on you. At least if you wait until the generals say it's over, then you have that to cover you if something does happen. Obama likes to emphasize I'll bring them home ASAP, McCain likes to emphasize the responsible thing to do is stabilize the situation first - those both mean the same thing, it's not "Possible" to bring them home any sooner than they get it stabilized.

Afghanistan - Obama likes to emphasize, that's where the front is, drop Iraq fast and send the troops there now. McCain likes to emphasize, no finish Iraq first and only then do you increase forces in Afghanistan and clean that mess up. Again, both mean the same thing.

Energy - Neither one of them is an oil-company sellout or a dumbass so they will both promote alternative energy sources. Obama says we have to focus on the alternative energy and sure we can do drilling along side that but the focus is the alternative energy. McCain says the drilling is super important but of course that's only a stop-gap (or whatever that stupid catchphrase is that they use for it) and then we will do the alternative energy thing too. Again, both the same thing.

Economy - Both have mentioned some form of tax cut, Obama focused on the average person and McCain, trying to pawn off trickle down crap-onomics as a valid theory yet again, focused on the wealthy and corporations. Neither of them will EVER be able to lower taxes with the crap hole we are in now with this trillion dollar bailout which will end up being closer to about 2 trillion by the time you factor in what they already spent on Bear Sterns and AIG and whatever else ends up going wrong. So, a tax cut is out on either side.

Wait, that reminds me of the other reason I am against Obama. He has also suggested RAISING some taxes. Granted, he says only on the rich but I imagine the increase in capital gains taxes will effect everyone regardless what he says - politicians are often wrong about these things; the Alternative Minimum Tax was only supposed to effect the rich too - all it did was make things worse for the middle class and the rich still get away with deducting 90% of their income so it is not taxable. So with McCain, taxes stay the same, but with Obama he raises capital gains taxes and other things so that's in favor of McCain too. Raising capital gains taxes, historically, ends up in less investment activity (which might be good at this point frankly) and less revenue generated so that's a bad idea.

I think he's also talked about reversing Bush's reduction in estate taxes - that's another bad idea. That really does end up having a terrible effect on people who are cash poor and farm-land rich because they frequently have to sell off parts of the land just to pay the estate tax. And honestly, it was way too high before. The schedule goes up to nearly 50% after a few million dollars. No matter how much money you have, that's basically confiscating your property upon death and is ridiculous.

Health Care - I think independent analysts have said they think both will be beneficial and will give more people more choices at a lower price than we have now. BUT, Obama wants to have anyone who wants to use it, be able to sign up for the "same insurance we have as members of Congress" and have a large portion of the actual price paid for by the feds. He says it will cost $800B or something and that it will be paid for by the increase in taxes on the rich. Yeah, and FDR said SS would pay for itself and now look where we are. It will cost at least twice what he says (probably closer to 5 times as much) because they always conveniently forget to factor in the human reaction. "What? I can keep my company's plan of crap that doesn't cover anything and costs me more, or I can take a govt. subsidized one that costs less and covers more? Gee, I'm torn and confused. What shall I do?" And suddenly around 75% of the people in the country are on it and it strangles the federal budget like SS is doing. McCain's plan just lowers the cost of health care plan by opening up the market so you can buy insurance on an open market and puts insurance companies in competition with each other. Frankly, that's what I've been thinking they need to do for years. Right now, the party who chooses the plan (the company) is not the party who actually uses the plan (the worker). So the company's incentive is to pick the one cheapest for them even if it doesn't cover anything because the worker doesn't have a choice, won't just jump from your company to another to get a better plan (and another company won't have a better plan), and if the worker gets sick, this is America and we can always find someone else to take their place. That creates a market where insurance companies have a financial incentive to offer cut-rate, no-coverage insurance plans because the one that will cost the company the least is the one that will get picked. McCain's plan will treat health insurance like car insurance is now. There are constantly commercials for GEICO, All-state, and Progressive saying "we offer more and cost less, buy our plan!" Under McCain's plan, health insurance would be a lot like that I imagine. Free market competition will lower prices, increase quality, and increase the number of people who can afford health insurance.

Regulation - After this crapfest both of them will push more regulation and more transparency and the Congress will pass it unanimously because everyone hates it whether they are blue voters or red voters and, after all, a politician's only real job is to get re-elected. So that's the same too.

Bailout - Looking at McCain's Homeowner's Resurgence Plan that Obama keeps saying is crazy and will cost the taxpayer even more money... it actually makes more sense than not doing anything.

Simply put, Paulson buys all this MBS and CDS crap with some sort of fantasy idea in his head that inserting a big buyer into the market will suddenly make crap smell like roses and raise the price. Frankly, there isn't a high demand for crap so even if you raise the demand by buying it all up, it is still crap and is still worth nothing because it is based on underlying mortgages that will continue to default at an ever-increasing rate. You might as well flush the $700B down the toilet - it's all lost.

The way to stop that is what McCain's plan is about but I don't think he articulates it very well so it's easy to make fun of. His plan works like this:

1 - Restructure the mortgages in order to stop defaults. Sure there is a cost upfront because of the decrease in principal but that can be fixed.

2 - No more defaults means no more flooding the market with 100 houses offered for every 1 buyer looking. That drives ALL house prices up - the ones you restructured, the ones that banks own already and are trying to resell, the ones people are trying to sell because they are relocating, and the ones people are trying to sell to avoid default.

3 - Rising house prices combined with no defaults results in those MBS manure piles sprouting rosebushes and being worth something. Now you can resell them at a profit like Paulson was suggesting. That gets the taxpayer their $700B back PLUS a profit. That profit would make back a lot of the lost principal in restructuring the mortgages.

I think there is one way he could dramatically improve the plan. Instead of forgiving the difference between the original loan and the lower FMV, structure the loans to be longer than 30 years. It would work like this. Say a house has a $400K loan on it and it is now worth only $300K. Calculate how large a payment would be on a $300K loan over 30 years with a regular fixed interest rate. Now, that's the homeowner's PAYMENT amount per month. Then calculate how much longer the loan would have to be to pay off the full $400K (in this case 40 years - I think the ratio would stay the same, right?) and that is the TERM of the mortgage. Now, you still have a lien on the house for the full $400K and you get it all back if the person moves within 40 years, but you still have made the loan affordable for these poor dupes who got talked into loans with the line, "Don't worry, just restructure the loan before it explodes in your face. Your house will be worth way more by then anyway! Now, sign here, sucker." That way, the $300B he uses to buy up the houses is secured by a lien for the full amount of the loan. AND, since house prices will go up when defaults are stopped, you have more of a chance of having the house value go above the loan amount and make it more feasible for the homeowner to sell it eventually. PLUS, his plan will collect interest on the $300B in mortgages bought up, so that's another bonus for the taxpayer.

Abortion - People are stupid. I don't know why this ploy still works as a campaign issue when the fact is that the President doesn't have a whole lot to say about this, other than the rare occasion when he gets to appoint another justice to the Supreme Court. This is a matter of law. Either you interpret the Constitution to impliedly cover this, or you don't. The President can't do more than put someone on the court - unfortunately, their position on this one issue is the biggest deciding factor and most people pay no attention to whether that justice properly analyzes issues and comes up with decisions in a logical manner. Besides, try to think up a scenario where someone would actually have the standing to even bring an abortion case into court. Yeah, I can't think of one either. Also, suppose they overturn Roe v. Wade - all that means is each state can individually decide if they want to outlaw abortion. California, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Vermont, New York... all states that will NEVER outlaw abortion because they are so blue. And if you live in a red state and want to get an abortion, the worst case scenario is you need to pay to get to a blue state, have the procedure, and go back home.

On the other hand, I do feel a person's position on abortion shows what that person values. I suppose there is a reasonable argument for abortion in usual cases and early on in the gestation period, but put that aside for a minute. Partial-birth abortion may be the most barbaric thing I've ever heard of. Just in case you don't know precisely how grotesque the procedure is, here's a summary.

1 - The doctor uses an ultrasound to get a visual image of the fetus - which is developed, at this point, to where it has fully recognizable body features.
2 - The doctor inserts forceps and fishes around to grab a leg of the fetus. Yes, it already has legs, arms, and even fingers and toes.
3 - The fetus is pulled out backwards except for the head. I don't understand why they can't remove the head before they do this next step - maybe the head is too big at its full size to pass through the cervix since it won't be as dilated as it would in labor.
4 - The doctor takes scissors, stabs the fetus in the back of the head, and spreads wide the hole. I actually get really freaked out thinking about this whole thing.
5 - The doctor then puts a suction catheter into the hole he has just stabbed in the baby's head and sucks out the brain. At this point the soft skull collapses on itself like a deflated basketball.
6 - The doctor pulls the baby the rest of the way out and throws it in the trash.

That is so horrific and vile that I can't imagine a doctor could do that without getting physically ill. Obama has voted against the bill to ban that procedure. To me, that's just so insanely selfish and brutal that I can't respect a person who supports it - that is horribly poor judgment no matter how smart he is. And, yes, he is very intelligent. I don't think women should have a choice to do this so late in a pregnancy just because - after 3 or 4 months of being pregnant - she now just doesn't feel like having a baby anymore.

Even a person with no friends, relatives, or associates is protected against murder, right? You can't go up to a lone homeless person and kill them just because no one will miss him. Why? Because, members of our society are protected. We decided that if you are a member of our society, we will use the law to protect your right to continue to live and will punish people who take that right away to deter them from trying to do it in the first place. Now the question just becomes, at what point do you consider a fetus to be a member of society that deserves individual protection? Even protection from his mother - after all, a relative can't just kill you because they are the only one in your life.

I would say anyone with any decency would AT LEAST say that point comes before a fetus has developed to the point of having arms, legs, a head, fingers, and toes. I just don't understand this position at all. Not quite the moderate he pretends to be during the election, is he?

Miscellaneous - This doesn't fall under any particular issue but it is a general difference in their philosophies in how they will approach problems in general, so it's important. I've done a lot to try to figure out who they really are - liberal, centrist, or conservative.

McCain has been in the Senate for 26 years so, we've had a long time to see who he really is. He's always been a centrist. He's always had the guts to tell his party to, "go screw," as you put it, when he thought what they were doing was wrong. The best example of this I can think of at the moment is his effort with campaign finance reform so that elected officials aren't purchased by their biggest donor and then spend their whole term working for that donor. Sure, the last few months he has been pretending to be super conservative but I think that's just to get elected. The 26 years is definitely more persuasive to me than the few months of running for office. As cheesy as it is, and as sick I am of hearing it so often, he really is a Maverick.

Obama has been in the Senate for about 30 minutes or so, so we haven't had much chance to see who he really is. But let's see what we know so far.

1- He DID vote against funding the troops - here's why that isn't a total crock... the bill with the withdrawal deadlines had already been vetoed by Bush, that was no longer an option so it wasn't just picking one instead of the other. The second one was the one without a withdrawal deadline. 37 Democratic Senators voted for it because it was the only way to get funds to the troops since the "withdrawal deadline bill" was already vetoed and they only had 4 days left before funding expired. Only 10 Democratic Senators voted against it. One of them was Obama.

2- He voted against extending the decrease in Estate tax. I've already mentioned why I think that's a bad idea.

3- As I already mentioned, he voted against banning partial birth abortion. That's not only wrong, it is uncivilized.

4- He voted against creating a free trade zone with 5 Central American countries. As you've said, trade barriers are bad for the economy.

5- Overall, he has voted with his party 96% of the time - if you only include the times when he actually voted. That high a percentage pretty much makes him the Democrat poster boy. If he is in office with a Democrat-dominated Congress, they will go so far left it will be about as frightening as how far right Bush went when he had the Congress on his side.

He's far left and has shown on several occasions that he is all for having government pay for everything. And he seems to indicate that the rich should pay for all of those increased expenditures. I agree, taxes on the rich should be higher than on others. A graduated income tax does make sense and it is fair. But to have them pay for ALL these socialist programs is a bit much to ask. Aside from the fact that history has shown that Democrats love to say that their socialist programs are well within the federal budget and will be paid for, but reality shows that they are always wrong and it always costs several times more than they say. Our next huge federal crisis will be the day SS bankrupts the federal budget.

But as you said, I don’t know if it makes a bit of difference at this point who wins because the system is already so screwed up. It seems the only way it will get better is the way it has happened throughout history. Eventually, great societies have always found a way to destroy themselves and completely collapse. Then they are replaced out of necessity. It shouldn’t be long now.

The subprime crisis

2008-10-01T13:40:00.003-04:00

Check out this video...

Now, I don't know if that is more propaganda because EVERYONE has an agenda to push. BUT, ask yourself a few questions about the situation and see what makes sense...

1 - Why, all of the sudden in the late 1990s/early 2000s, did banks start making horrible subprime loans? I mean, the loan officers make a commission on each loan that issues whether it is good or bad, but why didn't they make these loans before that? I've suspected for a while that these loans were encouraged by some form of legislation but couldn't figure out if it was more regulation or less.

2 - Everyone, even Obama's campaign, agrees that McCain DID want to add regulation to Fannie and Freddie and DID warn about the problem.

Honestly, I think this problem is a lot more complicated than the media says and a lot more of the blame belongs on the people who encouraged - or even mandated - loans to people who can't afford them.

The only way I see this being corrected - even WITH this "bailout" - is if a large portion of these loans are restructured so that people don't default, don't get foreclosed, don't lose their houses, and can afford to make payments on them.

The damage is done, the real estate prices are down, the banks lost tons of money... now stop the freefall by restructuring the loans so there isn't a flood of houses on the market.

What do you think?

A day in NYC on 9/11/08

2008-09-11T20:48:00.002-04:00

I went to the city today. Walked around ground zero. Strange, I've lived in NY my whole life and this was the first time I've been there in the seven years since it happened.

On that day it was like a third world country - infrastructure collapsing, people fleeing in fear, no telling where your loved ones were or even if they were still alive, no public transportation, phone lines were overloaded, people were in a panic.

After a few weeks they were still digging through the destruction 24 hours a day with hundreds of volunteers and workers going in and out. Even after working 10, 12, 15 hour shifts, people had to be dragged away to get rest and let others help.

After a few months only the professionals were left digging through the rubble but people all over the country, all over the world were still watching the news more than they watched anything else on TV.

After a year, we stopped for a few moments that day, spent the day watching the news, and attended memorial ceremonies.

Today, after seven years, the mood was just a bit different. I noticed it from the moment I got on the bus to the city. Everyone was a bit more still, a bit quieter, a sadder look on their faces.

Then I rode the subway downtown. The subway a bit more empty.

I got to ground zero. Everyone walked a bit slower, a bit more sadness on their faces, a bit more polite, a bit more patient, a bit nicer. Everyone remembered what had happened but it was clearly a world away.

It would be nice if we could treat each other this way everyday.

Never forget.

Wrestlemania 2008... PART II (OR the Presidential Election from McCain's War Room)

2008-09-01T01:46:00.006-04:00

SCENE II - McCAIN'S WAR ROOM

DATE - Thursday, August 28, 2008

LOCATION - One of McCain's 7, no wait only 5... no... 7, yes, yes, definitely 7 houses.
Can you imagine how often he must lose his keys with so many to keep track
of?

CAST

JOHN McCAIN - The only Republican Nominee this year who was so plain that no one had
any real complaints about him. He's not Mormon, he's not a Baptist
Minister who made a statement that could be twisted into "he doesn't
believe in evolution!" he's not as radical and apparently psychotic as
Ron Paul, and he started his campaign before the nomination was already
decided (way to eliminate yourself from the running Mayor Guiliani! Well
done!).

CINDY HENSLEY McCAIN - Or as John calls her, The Hotness or Her Hotness or Your
Hotness.. depending on who he is addressing and in what
context.... and depending on whether he is still awake at the
moment.

ROBERTA McCAIN - John McCain's mother who is still spry at the tender age of 96. Come
on now, with a family history like that, there's no chance he will die
in office when he's ONLY 72 now.

GEORGE W. BUSH - "The Professor of Strategery"

DICK CHENEY - "The Puppet Master." He WOULD have been there except that he had to be in
a nearby surveillance van to feed Georgy boy his lines and help him
control his bowels. He attended by earpiece.

HILLARY CLINTON - Glad to see she's been as supportive of Obama as she said she'd be.
What a trooper.

BILL CLINTON - The man who started the Clinton Initiative. Contrary to rumor, that is
NOT about trying to score a different intern in every country on earth.

JOHN McCAIN - So what should we do here? Who should I pick as a running mate? That Barack is so pretty and popular, and I'm so... not. How do we counter that?

CINDY - Oh baby, you're handsome, you're popular, don't get so down on yourself. We have to keep reminding people that you're a hero and take their focus away from how decrepit you are. Here honey, use a tissue and dust yourself off, you're getting cobwebs again.

ROBERTA - Where's my pudding? John, did you eat all my pudding again?! And stop finishing the Metamucil, I need that or I get backed up like the Cross Bronx on a 3-day weekend!

CHENEY (whispering in Georgy's earpiece) - Tell them to choose me as the VP. Hopefully he'll do a better job of dying in office than you did and I can officially make this the United States of Halliburton!

BUSH - You want me to die in office?

CHENEY - You idiot! I told you not to talk to me directly when I'm feeding you lines!

BUSH - Oh right... hey John, why don't you use my VP, old Dicky. He's got the experience and he would make you look younger!

JOHN - Oh please, like I need to be called GWB II yet again. Isn't your approval rating down to single digits these days? Shouldn't you be asking Cheney how to make Halliburton more money? I want to be as far away from you as possible. I'm NOT taking Cheney as my Vice, he's liable to try to kill me in office anyway!

CHENEY - BLASPHEMY!

BUSH - BLASPHEMY!... But yeah, my boss says I gotta go now, we have a Halliburton board meeting soon.

HILLARY - Listen crypt keeper, you BETTER win this election so I can run for President again in 2012! I already have offices set up for the campaign and I can't run against an incumbent Obama! DON'T SCREW THIS UP POPS!

BILL - Hey, maybe you should select Hillary as your running mate. If you get me and Hillary behind you, you'll win by a landslide. All her supporters are bitter and pissed off at Barack... and besides, I want back in the White House for some new interns.

CINDY - Why are you even here? You hate us. If he made her the VP candidate, he'd end up face down in a ditch in under a month like that Foster guy you buried during your Whitewater scandal.

BILL - I wanna be in the White House with you too hotness. You make me want to put a lamp shade on my head and butter myself all over.

HILLARY - Come on Bill, we're trying to bring them to our side here, be more subtle (turning)... OH GOD BILL PUT YOUR PANTS ON!!

BILL - Giggity giggity! Alright!

JOHN - Seriously now, I need some straight talk and some mavericking... who are the potentials? How about one of those guys who lost to me?

CINDY - Well, there's Romney... but his first name is Mitt which is a piece of baseball equipment and he's a Mormon so he believes that after Jesus resurrected, He came to the US to speak to the Native Americans because they are the true tribes of Israel.

ROBERTA - You can't sell a Mormon to the evangelicals, they'll eat you alive. Speaking of eating, where's my pudding dammit?! John, what did I tell you about eating my pudding!? YOU'RE GROUNDED!

JOHN - Gee whiz ma, I was hungry. You know I can't chew anymore and even if Cindy cuts my food for me, meats make me gassy at my age.

ROBERTA - SILENCE! Don't talk back to your mama!

JOHN - Yes ma'am.

CINDY - There's also Huckabee but he made that quote that everyone twisted around to make it sound like he doesn't believe in evolution... And there's Ron Paul but he's a little crazy.

JOHN - Yeah, and he looks too much like that guy Do* from Heaven's Gate, that creeps me out.

*(pronounced like Doe a dear, a female dear..) - don't believe me? Just look at these pics...
DO - http://www.tvsa.co.za/mastershowimages/1463_heavens_gate_468.jpg
RON PAUL - http://weblogs.newsday.com/news/local/longisland/politics/blog/Ron_Paul_Photo_4.jpg

JOHN - Seriously, that mental patient convinced a whole group of people that God was surfing on the wake of a spaceship that was hiding behind a comet and was coming to save them, further convince that group to commit suicide by drinking Vodka laced with phenobarbital, and FURTHER convinced that group to do it while wearing black-and-white Nike "Cortez" sneakers... I'm most appalled at the sneakers - I wouldn't be caught dead wearing Nike Cortez!

CINDY - There's also Guilliani. He was popular and would have beat you except for the fact that he didn't start campaigning until the campaign was pretty much over.

JOHN - No, I'm already in the center and the evangelicals already don't like me very much. He's even more centrist than I am, the evangelicals would never leave their trailers to vote for us.

CINDY - Ok, none of those guys will work. Maybe we are looking at this the wrong way. Let's think about what complaints people have about you and try to fill those gaps - you know, the same way Obama picked Biden.

ROBERTA - You're old!

JOHN - Ok, let's pick somebody young.

BILL - You're ugly!

JOHN - Screw you playboy! Fine, let's pick someone who looks nice on camera too.

CHENEY - He's too far to the center for evangelicals to vote for him.

BUSH - You're too far to the center for evangelicals to vote for him, er, you.

JOHN - I thought you had a Halliburton meeting to go to? Ok, find someone as far to the right as you can. Someone who doesn't even make exceptions for abortion when a woman gets pregnant by her own daddy.

HILLARY - You've been in Washington for 26 years. Democrats could use that to say you've become part of the establishment and they want someone new like Obama who has been a Senator for all of 30 minutes.

JOHN - Ok, no one from Washington.

CINDY - Our side likes to bring attention to the fact that Obama has so little experience. Maybe we can find someone who makes that an issue too.

JOHN - Good thinking, hotness! Find someone who will get all the same complaints he gets. When they talk about my running mate's flaws, they will have to talk about his flaws and I can always point out that my running mate is in the passenger seat but HE is in the driver's seat! BRILLIANT AND HOT! Wow, that would turn me on if there was anything left to turn on! What other things do they criticize him for?

BILL - Well, he's inexperienced, as hotness said. He's not a centrist like most Americans are. He doesn't know much about foreign relations. He doesn't know the intricacies of military...

JOHN - Mom, buzz for the nurse please, I want more strawberry Jell-O. Ok, so let's pick someone who...

ROBERTA - DON'T TALK TO ME! I TOLD YOU, YOU ARE GROUNDED YOUNG MAN!

JOHN - Gee whiz ma. Ok, so let's see if we can put all this together. We need someone who is: young to counter my age; attractive to counter Obama's looks; not from Washington to counter my 26 years there; not an oil industry sellout to distance myself from comparisons to W and Dicky; not a Mormon like Mitt; not a psycho like Ron Paul; super conservative to get the evangelicals out of their trailers and into the voting booth so not Guiliani either. Also it has to be someone who: is inexperienced to highlight Obama's inexperience; doesn't know foreign relations; doesn't understand the military; is a minority like Obama is to get people excited about making history... hmm, maybe even a woman to win over some of your pissed off supporters Hillary.

HILLARY - WHAT?! You're going to put another woman in the White House before me you bastard?! I'll kill you father time! I'm running again in 2012 so you have to win and you CAN'T put a woman in there before me!

JOHN - Look, Hillary, if I don't win, then you can't run until at least 2016 when you will be 69. They call me old at 72 but I've aged better than you. You won't get elected as a 69 year old woman so whatever I have to do to get elected is in your best interest.

HILLARY - FINE! BE THAT WAY!

BILL - I really do want to get back in the White House in 2012 with some nice interns.

HILLARY - Shut up pervert. (turning) DAMMIT I SAID PUT YOUR PANTS ON BILL!

CINDY - EW! NO, I DON’T WANT TO TOUCH IT! GROSS, WHY’S IT ALL CROOKED?! GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME YOU SICKO!

BILL – Giggity giggity, alright!

JOHN - How in the world are we ever going to find one person who fits all those criteria? There can't possibly be one person with all those extreme qualities.

CHENEY - Say Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska fits perfectly. I just googled it.

BUSH - Say Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska fits perfectly. Er, I mean, ahem... Say, Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska fits perfectly. Bring her up on Google and check it out.

JOHN - Wow, she's cute. And look she's only 44 years old. Never been to Washington, heck may never have left the state, she doesn't even have a passport! She’s challenged the oil companies getting’ all Mavericky with them! She’s not Mormon! She’s not psycho!

BILL – Hahaha, that’s cute. Obviously you’ve never met her.

JOHN – She’s super conservative! She’s inexperienced! She doesn’t understand foreign policy – I still can’t believe she doesn’t have a passport! She doesn’t understand military matters! And American’s can make history by putting a woman in the White House rather than by putting an African-American in there! SHE’S PERFECT!!

CHENEY – Don’t tell them about how dim she is, they don’t know!

BUSH – Oh yeah, that’s right, she isn’t so bright. Heck, it takes one to know one, and I would definitely know!

JOHN – What’s that you say?

BUSH – Well, I don’t want to say she’s dumb so as not to bring more attention to my own inter-lectual short… short… shortnessisms. But, well…

CHENEY – SHUT UP!

BUSH – SHUT UP!

JOHN – What? Who are you talking to? Where did that come from?

BUSH – Oh nothing. Yeah, let’s get Ms. Alaska on the phone.

BILL – Ooooooooooooooooh man, look at that picture! Ok, I gotta go get more butter. Bye all!

END WITH BLACK SCREEN WITH AN OVAL, SQUIGGLY BORDER AND THE WORDS “THE END” IN THE CENTER JUST LIKE OLD CHARLY CHAPLIN FILMS THEY USED TO MAKE WHEN JOHN WAS JUST A PUP IN HIS MID FORTIES!

Wrestlemania 2008 (OR the Presidential Election)

2008-08-29T15:35:00.003-04:00

Ok, things are just getting too interesting and too amusing not to write about. Given today's announcement of Sarah Palin as McCain's running mate, I thought I'd post a couple skits about how I imagine the selections for VP going in these past 2 weeks...

SCENE I - OBAMA'S WAR ROOM

DATE - Friday, August 22, 2008

LOCATION - Paris Hilton (The Building owned by the Hilton Corporation located in Paris, France...YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK) Presidential Suite

CAST

BARACK OBAMA - "The Celebrity, The Anointed One, The Prettiest Man to Run for
President Since Slick Willie" OBAAAAAAAMA!!
MICHELLE OBAMA - Barack's wife and the World Record holder for most weight bench
pressed by a candidate for First Lady
MALIA ANN OBAMA - Barack and Michelle's older daughter
NATASHA "Sasha" OBAMA - Barack and Michelle's younger daughter and speaker of the
quote, "HI DADDY!"
HOWARD DEAN - Democratic Party Chairman, AKA - Booyah Boy
BILL CLINTON - Former President of the United States
HILLARY CLINTON - The Bitterest Woman on Earth
NANCY PELOSI - House Speaker

BARACK - Who do the people say that I am?

MICHELLE - Some say John the Baptist, some say the next president, and still others say the reincarnation of Martin Luther King, Jr. and JFK rolled into one.

BARACK - But who do you say that I am?

NO NO NO... CUT, we can't do that. People, let's keep some perspective here, he's just a man running for President. All you need to qualify for that is to be over 35 years old and be born in the United States. Let's take it back to the beginning, start over, think about what you're saying folks and keep things in perspective... Ok, ACTION!

BARACK - So... what do the opinion polls say about me?

BILL - They say you're too young and too inexperienced you putz! My wife should have won, I should be back in the White House! Do you know what it's like for me in the regular world?! There are no interns out there!! And I'm sure not going to look at this woman for another 4 years! Look what the surgeon's did! She looks like a painted clown at a drive through window! You should make her your running mate and let me back in the White House is what you should do!!

HILLARY - YES! If you make me your running mate, all my supporters will fall in line behind you! (speaking of which, you should probably look behind you for people trying to club you with a frying pan so I can step into the top spot). But really, it's your only hope of getting my supporters to like you! Otherwise I'll tell them to vote for that pasty white fossil, McCain, so he can retire in 4 years and I can win the next election! You jerk, you should have quit this election when I had a 1-delegate lead like I told you, NOW MAKE ME YOUR VP!!

PELOSI - Bite me Hillary! You lost and I'm the most powerful woman in Washington now and it's going to stay that way! You'll be his running mate only over my dead body!

BILL - We can arrange that Nancy, we've done it before with people who've gotten in our way. Besides, you're not hot, I have no purpose for you.

PELOSI - Oh, you eat it too Bill! And stop staring at Michelle like that, you're creeping me out! Now think people, who is going to be the best running mate to balance Barack's complete lack of experience, qualifications, and the fact that he's younger than 60% of registered voters?

DEAN - What about McCain as his running mate? He's old, experienced, knows the military and has negotiated with foreign governments before. BOOYAH!

BARACK - Howard, he's my OPPONENT... we are trying to think of a running mate for me.

DEAN - Oh right, I get dizzy sometimes. I need to sit down. BOOYAH!

MALIA ANN - Hey dad, isn't Joe Biden the head of the Senate Committee on Foreign Relations? What about him?

BARACK - Yes, Malia, he is the head of the Foreign Relations committee but he said I can't get on-the-job training as President and once said he'd be honored to run WITH McCain.

SASHA - HI DADDY!

DEAN - But still, Biden might be our best choice. He's older, he has been in government since before you were born so he has tons of experience, his greatest experience is in foreign relations as your daughter said and that's where the Republicans are criticizing you most, and he almost sort of looks like McCain so maybe we can steal some of McCain's supporters that way - those old voters are confused easily, they could mistake Biden for McCain. He's the anti-YOU and he's everything you're missing! BOOYAH!

BARACK - Hmm, perhaps you're right. Apparently you do think better when you're sitting down and not getting dizzy. I could use an adviser like you Dean. Ok, Michelle, what do you think?

MICHELLE - I think he's right. You need to pick a running mate who makes up for all the glaring deficiencies you have and hope the American people are too dim-witted to notice that the VP doesn't really do anything... well, except Cheney, who seems to be wearing W as a hand-puppet. Wow, this is all so surreal. I feel proud of America for the first time in my adult life and I mean that in the least offensive way possible.

BARACK - Ok, it's done! I'm choosing Joe Biden as my running mate! Obama-Biden '08!... oh wait, does that sound even more like Osama Bin Laden than before?

EVERYONE IN UNISON - NO!! BLASPHEMY!

DEAN - BOOYAH!!

BARACK - Ok, get him on the phone, hopefully he won't call me an inexperienced hack with a pretty smile and no substance.

FADE TO BLA... oh would that be racist? hmm... FADE TO WHI... oh wait, McCain's white, can't do that either... ok, ok... do a star swipe! And it will help bolster his celebrity image.

THE END

Tune in soon for a scene from McCain's War Room. Until next time, you stay classy San Diego!

A picture does NOT say a thousand words (AKA There are two sides to every story)

2008-06-06T11:34:00.006-04:00

Are these people as horrible as they seem?

Take a look at this video then come back and read the rest.

Ok, what did you see? An older gentleman (granted he was jay walking but I don't remember a single day of my life when I didn't see dozens of people jay walk anywhere and everywhere) walking across the street gets hit by a car (on the WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD no less).

And it seems - it SEEMS - that everyone who saw it did nothing to help. The police chief said he was "unsure" whether anyone called 911 (personally, I'm baffled that the police chief would not have known that information - it would NOT be hard to find all calls to 911 when you know the exact time, date and location of the incident).

I say "seems" because I want to illustrate the point that, without audio, you cannot really tell what the people did or how they reacted.

I want to make the point that a picture - even a moving picture (that's video for you youngins') - does NOT always say a thousand words or tell the whole story. Let me explain...

Mr. Torres gets tossed onto the hood. Flips over. Slides off the door and side-view mirror. Those two black objects - one where he got hit, the other right by his body - appear to be his shoes. His head bounces sharply off the hard asphalt then he slowly wilts onto his back. Then what do the people do?

You might want to watch it again a few times - as I did - to make sure you catch all that happens (or does not happen as the case may be) in response. NOTE: It is easier to watch repeatedly if you pause it and go back so you don't have to keep watching the introductory commercial.

Look carefully to the left. Near the middle of the left side there appear to be three women happily chatting at first. At least one seems to look out to the street BEFORE Mr. Torres is hit; it looks as though the speeding cars on the wrong side of the road made some noise which attracted her attention. Then, as he is struck, her hands go up to her mouth in shock and she steps back away from the road and the horror she just witnessed.

So far, I don't see anything wrong with her reaction. So far, the only wrongdoers are the people in the two cars speeding down the wrong side of the road, hitting Mr. Torres, then fleeing the scene after they realize what they have done.

A little closer to the top of the screen on the left several people are walking toward the scene (towards the bottom of the screen) before the impact and they too immediately step back in shock. It also appears they step back for their own safety from two cars coming in their direction and out of control.

Again, so far, the pedestrian witnesses still have done nothing wrong, unreasonable, or unexpected given what they just experienced. So far, the only wrongdoers are still the people in the two cars.

Now look to the right. The car which was, at the time of impact, to the right of the degenerate who hit Mr. Torres immediately pulls over to the right. Perhaps he was calling the police. The only thing clear from the video is that he was at least concerned enough to pull over. What are the various ways he could possibly have reacted?

The best thing he could have done is get out, stop traffic to prevent the risk of Mr. Torres getting run over, walked over to him, called the police (or asked a bystander to call the police), spoke to Mr. Torres to check for consciousness, and stood by him until the police or ambulance showed up.

Could he have touched Mr. Torres? Made him feel comfortable? Checked him for broken bones? Not if he has any sense at all. Unless the driver of that car is a licensed medical professional such as an EMT, nurse, physician's assistant, or doctor, he has NO business touching an injured person who is still conscious.

He could move his neck the wrong way and damage nerves or collapse his airway. He could do a MILLION things wrong by touching him but almost nothing he could do could be helpful.

And I am assuming he wasn't a medical professional since he didn't instinctively go check Mr. Torres for consciousness and vital signs.

Another option is to pull over, call the police and report the incident and location, then drive off - which he could well have done from what we see in the video.

Not quite as nice a reaction since Mr. Torres is still at risk of being run over as he lays in the road while traffic is moving.

And since Mr. Torres could be losing consciousness and there could be important developments to his condition which a witness could convey to the EMTs when they arrive.

And since, just out of compassion, whether he was capable of offering substantive help or not, when a victim has someone physically near them to acknowledge their existence and show concern for human life, that victim will feel much more at ease.

The last way he could have reacted is to swerve to make sure Mr. Torres doesn't land on his car and damage it, and just keep driving like he was avoiding a pothole. Clearly, this is not acceptable human behavior.

But that is NOT what happened. He DID stop. We just don't know if he just sat there gawking at the spectacle or if he called the police.

So, if this is indeed what happened, then his reaction is not perfect... but at least he took a moment to make sure the professionals and the authorities were informed so they could help Mr. Torres.

Again, so far, the only guilty parties here are in those two cars. Although, the driver of this car could have done things slightly better by stopping traffic and waiting by Mr. Torres until professionals arrived.

Then two other cars come from the bottom of the screen, quickly at first, but look - the first one pulls to the side (right by the side road that the degenerates sped away on) and waits.

Maybe he is calling the police as well. Maybe he is looking down that side road to see if there is still any sign of who hit Mr. Torres and is trying to get the license plate.

Again, could have been better if he got out, stopped traffic, checked to make sure Mr. Torres was conscious, and waited with him until professionals arrived.

But, still, no wrongdoers but the degenerates who hit him.

The second of the two cars from the bottom of the screen appears completely unconcerned about the man lying in the road and, in fact, swerves across the yellow line right near Mr. Torres in a hurry to pass the "idiots who are making me late because they are slowing down to help a man that got hit by a car!"

Fine, now we can add the driver of that car to the list of callous people who DID do something wrong by doing nothing at all. Reckless and callous - BIG Jerk.

As those cars are passing, one approaches from Mr. Torres' side of the road (from the top of the screen). That car stops and, if you look very closely, looks like it put on its hazard lights.

Maybe that's yet another person calling 911. AND, this is the first person to make any effort to stop traffic. Good for that person!

Next a white car appears from the bottom of the screen, slows to be sure to avoid the first car which pulled over and avoid Mr. Torres as well but continues without any further hesitation. Useless - thanks for nothing.

Then a truck comes from the bottom of the screen, slows apparently to look at Mr. Torres, then drives on. Useless - again, thanks for nothing, I hope I wasn't in your way.

As the truck is going by, two men appear in the bottom left of the screen who make calls from their cellphones (maybe Hartford just has an awful 911 system and people DID call the police). Good for those people!

Next a man walks in from the right of the screen, stops the car behind the truck, points to Mr. Torres (apparently saying something), then walks to the curb on the left of the screen. And the car to which he pointed out Mr. Torres, pulls over to the right. At least some concern was shown by both parties - not so bad.

Then a minivan comes by and keeps on driving. Again, useless - amazing how many people have no sense and no compassion.

Now a scooter comes by, slows down, and circles Mr. Torres. Pedestrians on the left start to mill about, walking into the road and may even have asked Mr. Torres if he was conscious and told him to lay still to avoid worsening his injuries. That seems a rather reasonable explanation given what we see.

That would be great! That's the best thing people can do in this situation. We now, presumptively, have two people calling 911 and several others standing near Mr. Torres, not touching him to prevent further injuries, checking for consciousness, saying "try to stay calm and lay still, the police are on their way." What more can you ask?

Then the car which came in from the top of the screen turns around and leaves. Fine, so he didn't KEEP traffic stopped the whole time, but at least he helped for a bit. And now it doesn't seem as necessary to stop traffic since there are several very conspicuous people standing in the road to make it obvious to any approaching car that the road is not passable at the moment and to keep Mr. Torres from getting run over.

Maybe these people aren't so bad after all. Maybe the Hartford 911 system is in such disarray that it is rendered useless no matter how many people call. Maybe the Hartford police are so overwhelmed with their duties and so understaffed that they are fully aware of the 911 calls but are trying to bury it to avoid looking incapable. Maybe a lot of things!

This is all we know from this video.

1 - No one touched Mr. Torres. Since he was conscious, that's actually a GOOD thing.

2 - No one stopped traffic coming from the bottom of the screen. That part should have been handled better. I can't imagine with ALL those people no one had enough sense to realize it is important to stop traffic in both directions to keep the area safe.

3 - One car DID stop traffic coming from the top of the screen; at least until several pedestrians milled around Mr. Torres and made it obvious that the road was not to be driven on. That's a good thing too.

4 - At least 2 pedestrian witnesses (on the left) make calls almost immediately after Mr. Torres is hit. AND the first car on the right pulled over for long enough to place a call. AND the NEXT car on the right pulled over long enough to make a call as well. It is almost inconceivable to think that all these people were not calling 911 to report the incident. When you are walking and see a pedestrian get hit, you don't SUDDENLY remember to make a call to tell your wife to pick up the kids after school - you call 911! It seems very suspicious that the chief of police - a full week after the accident (Mr. Torres was hit LAST Friday) - would be "unsure" if anyone had called 911.

5 - Several pedestrian witnesses walk into the street and seem to speak to Mr. Torres. Knowing normal human behavior, the most reasonable assumption is that they were checking to see if he was conscious. Further, it is likely they even spoke to him and asked him if he was conscious to see if he could still speak. And it even seems like one of the bystanders puts out his hands in front of him and motions downward as though he were advising Mr. Torres to lay still to prevent worsening his injuries until the police arrived. It is even likely they told him, "Someone is calling the police. Try to stay calm and lay still, they will be here soon." But those are all assumptions. All we know for sure from the video is that they effectively prevented traffic from running Mr. Torres over and stood near him until the police arrived. I don't know what more you would expect to see from a video without hearing the audio.

Today's lesson - Every story has more than one side; sometimes there are several. And everyone has their own motivation for spinning the story their own way. The media in Hartford wants to sensationalize it to sell more papers or get more listeners or viewers and the police chief has an incentive to raise doubt about calls to 911 to avoid looking incapable or overwhelmed with work. Don't just accept the story you are spoon-fed from the media or the authorities... a statement is not actually true just because they say it is.

I have a blog!

2007-09-16T23:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'll use this blog to record my random musings, update people I know on my activities, and anything else that comes to mind. Welcome to my blog. Make yourselves at home and have a cookie. I'm going to go check if I can put a sign-in book on here. Come back and check soon for postings!